Welcome to the Dregs

All the herd members / Wear a theoretical bridle / Clock nine to five / “Hooray! American Idol!”

Instead of saying “hipster” say “shitster”.

I… adult waterwings?

I understand people at the coffee shop. Writers, PhDs, web developers, artists, etc. But why, grown man, why do you watch YouTube all day?

How can I get a hold of a machine gun that shoots clouds of cotton candy?